Hormones
by Damonficgirl
Summary: Vincent and Catherine's budding relationship hits a stumbling block. Vincent questions what this means for them. Spoilers up to "Trust No One."


**Hormones**

As their lips pressed together they gradually became less hesitant and pushed harder, deepening the kiss, as they did so their bodies pressed together. Excitement and arousal flooded Catherine's body and unconsciously her fingers reached or the buttons on his shirt.

Suddenly Vincent pulled away, he didn't just tear himself away, he flung himself against the wall. She saw his eyes flash yellow and his fists clenched as he tried to control himself. He was breathing hard and mumbling something to himself. He looked at her shocked expression with one of fear and apology. "I'm sorry," he managed at last, as his breath steadied and the yellow faded from his eyes.

"It's okay," Catherine soothed, calmingly, forcing herself to stay calm as well she walked towards him and reached for his hand. "What happened?"

He pushed her hand away, "Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, phenylethylamine, adrenaline, endorphins, norepinephrine, testosterone,… Damn it," Vincent cursed and shook his head with frustration and shame.

"Sorry, I'm not a scientist; you're going to have to fill me in." Vincent was mute, he was pacing and he didn't look happy. Catherine's mind whirled with possible explanations. "I know you said before that hormones can have something to do with your transition. Vincent as much as I hate to say this, I've seen you kiss someone before, what was different this time?"

He stopped and he looked at her, the embarrassment evident on his face. "I want you," he admitted lamely. "JT warned me when we first met to be careful with my emotions but I thought I could control them. And I was, until…"

"You thought we might," she paused awkwardly. "Take this further?" she suggested politely.

Vincent nodded sadly. "I'm sorry Catherine, I thought I could be with you like a normal man."

"Well slow down there Mr. I know we were getting a bit carried away, but that doesn't mean that we were going to go all the way tonight. And I don't want normal. I want you."

"What if I'd hurt you?"

"You didn't."

"What if I can't ever really _be_ with you?"

"There's more to a relationship than what happens between the bed sheets. We'll figure it out. I don't know much about science but maybe if you used a sedative or something? I don't know," Catherine looked helpless. She could see how much he was hurting. His pride, his masculinity, his self-worth were tall taking a battering. "I don't care. If we can't we can't. You can still kiss me, I know you can, we just got a little carried away."

"With Alex it was different she wasn't…"

"You cannot tell me you weren't attracted to her," Catherine objected sceptically.

"It wasn't the same. It wasn't a fraction of what I feel when I'm with you. What if it's too much? What if I lose control?" He was scared, embarrassed and emasculated. Not for the first time he wondered if trying to pursue a relationship with Catherine was selfish.

"You won't," Catherine assured him, and she stepped slowly towards him and slipped her hands into his and pulled him against her. After a moment of stiff hesitation Vincent sensed that the beast was buried within once more and he relaxed into her embrace.

"I didn't want it to be like this," he mumbled into her hair.

"This seems pretty amazing from where I'm standing," Catherine soothed.

Vincent pulled back, "Don't you want a normal guy?"

"You really think I could? Knowing what I know? And JT's not my type," Catherine grinned.

"So I'm your last resort."

"Bottom of the barrel," Cat teased. Vincent smiled wistfully. He wanted to pretend it wasn't a big deal. But it was. He knew it was. I mean what was he thinking, even if they did manage to make love without him transforming and killing her or someone else in the process, what if she fell pregnant? Sure they could take precautions but there were no guarantees, those things failed all the time. Accidents happened. He couldn't imagine telling her she had to get an abortion because any child of his was likely to be a monstrosity. A genetic freak. If there was any hope that he could be cured there would be none for his child. Vincent found himself looking back at his complicated courtship with Catherine and realising that all along he had been blind, purposefully, knowingly blind, to the real challenges they faced. Challenges that were bigger than Muirfield. They talked about being okay with risks but he was he really willing to risk her happiness?

"JT I need your help."

"What did you do?"

"Well remember how you told me to woo her?"

"Did it work?"

"Yes."

"Great, way to go."

"But that's the thing. We kissed."

"Really that's awesome, but do I need to hear all the details?"

"That's not what I mean, JT, this is serious I have a problem."

"What do you mean? A problem?

"When things started to… progress… I started to turn. I think it was the adrenaline?"

"Oh my god. What did you do?"

"Nothing, I stopped myself."

"What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't."

"I said woo her not take her to bed!"

"You never said I shouldn't."

"Not directly, but I hinted at it. I mean I didn't want to come out and say, 'you can't sleep with Catherine' but I thought you knew that was a pretty bad idea with your condition."

"I did. I mean, I should have. I don't know what I was thinking JT."

"That's the problem, you weren't thinking. Your body was doing the thinking."

"So what am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't know, there isn't a handbook on this. It's not like you can buy a copy of 'A guide to dating for the genetically modified man' on Amazon."

"Really sensitive JT."

"Hey I'm trying to keep things light. This is big. I mean you and Catherine wanting to go there is big."

"You had to know that eventually we'd want to…"

"I guess I did, what can I say I'm a romantic? I wasn't really thinking about the details."

"So the one thing you haven't been all over in the research department, and is has to be this?"

"Okay settle down, so we do some more tests. Some people take pills to get them in the mood, maybe we can make something up to keep you from getting *too* in the mood."

"This is a nightmare. My life is a nightmare," Vincent groaned.

"Hey buddy, just remember, you're only in this mess because you've got a beautiful girl who wants to sleep with you, there are millions of men who would trade places with you in a heartbeat, even with the whole turning into a monster problem."

"Sure they would," Vincent deadpanned and stalked off to attack his punching bag.

JT sighed. He didn't dare say another word.

**_Disclaimer: Beauty and the Beast are not mine. _**

**_Author's Note: The inspiration for this comes from earlier in the series when JT is warning Vincent off any further interaction with Cat and JT says something like "Remember what happened last time?" I thought then that they were going to go down the path of there being some horrible secret where Vincent had basically killed a former love interest. I'm sort of glad they didn't go there, it would have made the show much darker (and narrowed the audience base) *but* I do keep expecting someone to raise the issue of hormones and arousal, I mean it makes sense that losing control could be dangerous for Vincent (and any partner he was with at the time) after all Vincent doesn't drink alcohol (presumably because he could lose control because alcohol is associated with reduced inhibitions) yet JT didn't object to him going off into the woods with Alex. Anyway I'd be interested to hear what others viewers think or am I just crazy for pondering these things?_**


End file.
